So, why be forgiveness-centered rather than justice-centered?
How To Let Go, Forgive And Feel Better
I think there are three good reasons that argue for forgiving as the go-to response to any act of meanness or neglect on the part of another person. But before I articulate those three reasons, I want to be completely clear on one point: forgiveness does not mean you allow a perpetrator to violate you again! If someone is dangerous, you keep a strong boundary and, if it is appropriate, make certain that others are protected as well.
With that in mind, here are my three reasons for making forgiveness your go-to response to those day to day violations:. First, having a basic orientation toward forgiveness is good for your body. Our friends whose primary focus is on getting justice have more frequent health problems in many areas including hypertension, digestive system problems ulcers, IBS… , fatigue; basically any health issue related to chronically elevated stress levels. The second reason is that forgiveness is good for your mind.
People who are forgiving by nature are much less likely to struggle with a host of neurotic disorders, beginning with depression and anxiety and including addiction and problems with impulse control. Finally, forgiveness is good for the soul. While we can certainly define the conditions that tend to reduce suffering, we struggle sometimes to understand the conditions under which people report deep satisfaction with life, finding serenity and tranquility that transcends body and mind.
Try forgiving unconditionally and see how it changes you. In a sense forgiveness is a form of love.watch
The importance of forgiveness
When we choose to forgive we choose to turn the other cheek, to let go of the desire to strike back. Why bother?
Martin Luther King, Jr. This challenge encompasses adopting a different mindset than most of us have been taught. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.
There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies. I think we all love to put energy into discovering the mountains of good inside each of us, but alongside our self-esteem building I think it is also important to acknowledge the shadow side we all have, and lose any sense of self righteousness when faced with the shadow side of another.
Think about that for a second. There are parts of you that hurt people, or can be petty or greedy or inconsiderate or, at times, even hateful. Perhaps just wants to protect you from more hurt? Why be forgiving by nature? Because we all need to be forgiven!
Everybody makes mistakes. First, set the intention early in each day. Decide before you begin the work of the day that you wish to be forgiving today. Second, notice. Be aware of anger when it arises. Pay attention to how it changes your body and your mind. Then take a mindful breath, accept that your body and mind are in this state, and look outside of yourself for a moment.
The key is to see this other person as someone who thinks and feels and acts much like any other person, including yourself. And then to remember that you have an opportunity to help through your kindness. Small thoughtful acts of forgiving will change the world one person at a time, beginning with yourself.
One final suggestion. You mentioned that you were taken by the poem she wrote.
It is a decision. To prevent pain at the hands of others actions, you must forgive.
- To Forgive Is To Set Yourself Free!
- Forgiveness | Teen Ink.
- Forgiveness Essay;
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What we have to do is recognize what we are doing so we can do something about it. Do yourself a favor and forgive. When you hang on to forgiveness, you are punishing you, not them. Never forget that.
Forgiveness Essays | James M. Walsh Pastoral Counseling
Let it go. Posted on Tuesday, August 19, Leave a Reply Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. The Stanford Forgiveness Project has shown that learning to forgive lessens the amount of hurt, anger, stress and depression that people experience. People who forgive also become more hopeful, optimistic and compassionate and have enhanced conflict resolution skills.
This research also found that people who forgive report significantly fewer physical symptoms of stress such as a backache, muscle tension, dizziness, headaches and upset stomachs. The act of forgiveness also increases energy and overall well-being. This article was published by Michigan State University Extension. The importance of forgiveness. When two people are angry with each other, each side feels hurt by the other and would like to receive an apology. Four myths about forgiveness Forgiving means forgetting. Instead of dwelling on the past, you are now free to protect yourself and move on.
Absolutely not! Forgiving puts you in a position of strength. Not true! Forgiving means reconciliation.